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The Sting

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Post Sun Jun 24, 2018 9:29 pm
stewartwillsher User avatar

Senior Member
Senior Member

Posts: 751
Kudos: 287
Location: Western Spain
Cue a bit of Scott Joplin and and old fashioned bookies, and ...
No, stop, not that kind of sting.
This is about what seems to be my annual duel with my arch-enemy, the paper wasp.
Now you would think that washing the 5008, which stands unused for maybe a couple of weeks, as the 108 serves adequately, would be no probs.
Hose connected to outside tap and pistol type spray to other end, and away we go with a sponge to shift stubborn crap, like literally bird crap.
Digress here intentionally to describe the tenacity and persistence of the evil paper wasp.
it does, very rarely, construct an impressive nest, instead a family will adopt an area and build a few tiddlers.
Two problems for us humans with that: one, the nest can be only a couple of cms across and entry through a crack or similar; second, only a few wasps need to maintain these nests so no obvious coming and going of a multitude.
That combined means you can be within dangerous striking distance unknowingly.
So the blighters this year colonised the 5008, with three nests to my knowledge, one of which I managed to disturb.
They don't like it up 'em, so as with last year when I moved a piece of wood they had stuck a nest to, when I started to clean the passenger side (RHS in my case) mirror, within the cowl was a "not to be disturbed" critter guarding of a nest.
It emerged full of anger, and venom, and pointed its extremely unpleasant arse at me an stuck it in the back of my left hand.
Ouch was not ver batem what I exclaimed, but the string of expletives conveyed that utterance.
Having been here before, I swiped the bugger off and trod on it to vent my displeasure, despite perhaps it being more justifiably aggrieved due to me destroying its nest and developing off spring.
Next hunt out the Piriton, a fast acting anti-histamine, we stock in our medicine arsenal for just such an occasion
Hand was quickly beginning to resemble something between one of Spongebob's crabby friends' claws, and a glove of Our'Enery's or Cassius Clay.
Add to that a distinctly vermillion hue and you have the picture.
However to appreciate the total effect, without actually experiencing it, you need to Google the Schmidt Pain Index and find the paper wasp is up with the champions.
A smear of Germoline for efficacy and a cold wet flannel for cooling and an iboprofen just for luck, and I slept a bit between scratching.
Next day, swelling more symmetrical, perhaps I could enter a Popeye lookalike competition, but colour down to a warm pink on the paint chart.
That's where I am at the moment, so as night falls, I fall back on my well tried and tested remedy of a couple of beers and a couple of shots.
Bottoms up - right up a paper wasp's bum!
P.S. Oh yes, the two other locations where they were commencing construction - by the hinge of right hand front door, and right hand side of car body behind tailgate; rascals!
Sense of humour? At my age, you've got to be joking!
"La Gata Negra" 2.0 HDI 2014 Swiss spec fully loaded.
"Bus" 7 seat 5008 1.6HDI 2014.
"Purple People Eater" 108 1.2 PureTech 2016 Top fully loaded.
"Animal" Linhai 300 4x4 ATV 2008.

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